


Am I Broken?

by noirsparker



Series: Broken [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: AND GAY, Coming Out, Conversion therapy mention, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Peter is nervous, self hatred, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 21:50:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15325104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noirsparker/pseuds/noirsparker
Summary: Peter Parker is17 years old and secretly a superhero. But he has an even bigger secret. One he hates himself for. One his aunt doesn't know about.





	Am I Broken?

Peter paused as he left his room, checking his appearance in the mirror. He normally wouldn't care, but his crush had commented on his shirt yesterday, a he was nervous. His red t-shirt was adorned with the words "this shirt is blue if you run fast enough", a joke he hoped wouldn't go over the boys head. He still hadn't told his aunt about his crush. He wasn't sure how she would react to the news that he was gay. He had no evidence that it would go wrong, but he was far too nervous that it might to convince himself to say anything.

The only person who did know was Ned, although not by Peter's choice. He had figured it out about 6 months ago, after watching him stutter through a conversation in which a (cute) boy had asked him for directions. Peter had turned around to see his best friend smirking knowingly at him.   
"When did you figure out you liked guys Pete? 'Cause I just did." Peter had choked on the drink he had taken a sip of and attempted to deny it, but Ned knew him better than anyone.   
"It's been about a year, I guess? Nobody knows. I uh... had a hard time coming to terms with it." Ned nodded. He was disappointed that Peter hadn't told him, but he understood. Peter was so grateful to have such a supportive friend. The teen grabbed his backpack and left for school, still thinking about the boy he liked, and whether he should just suck it up and tell his Aunt. She probably wouldn't react badly, right?

He was distracted the whole day, flitting between deciding to tell his aunt and deciding not to. He flaked on a test, could barely even hear his biology teacher, and completely forgot to even get lunch. His main worry was that she would think he was broken. The only person he knew who was openly supportive of LGBT people was Ned. Maybe something was wrong with him. Maybe he was broken. 

By the time he arrived home, he was a nervous wreck. Apparently, it showed.   
"Peter, are you okay? Did you get in trouble at school?" May practically ran to his side, concern rife on her face.   
"No Aunt May, when has it ever been that"  
"It's been happening more often recently. If it's not that, are you gonna tell me whats wrong?"  
Peters anxiety peaked, he had a chance to tell her. He knew he should take it.   
"I....I'm fine. Just a stressful day. I'll be in my room" He threw his bag near his desk and lay on his bed, mentally cursing him for not telling her. He should have. She loved him. She wouldn't care. But what if she did? He had barely begun to accept it himself, he didn't think he could handle May not accepting it either. As he lay there, he pondered what he had been thinking about earlier.

"Am I broken?" He whispered to himself. He felt like he was. The longer he spent alone with his thoughts the more convinced Peter became that something was wrong with him. He had always felt like it, but it had always been a feeling he could push aside. Not anymore. After an hour he hated himself, after 2 he was certain his aunt would send him to therapy, and that he needed it. After three he had found some information on conversion therapy and printed it out. He was going to give it to her. Standing up, he quelled the anxiety rising in his chest and walked to the living room.

"Hey, Aunt May?.... I lied. Some.. something is up. I just don't know how to tell you... exactly what that something is." She turned to face her nephew.   
"Whatever it is, it can't be bigger than Spider-Man. Lay it on me."  
"Actually... I think it's a little bigger than Spider-Man. It's..... It's pretty big."  
"Sit down, Pete. Whatever it is, I'm here for you. Okay?" Peter sat opposite his Aunt, so anxious he felt he might throw up.   
"I'm... I'm gay, Aunt May." he wanted to cry as soon as the words left his mouth, knowing there was no way he could change his mind now. "I printed this out" He handed her the information he had found. He refused to meet May's eye, instead opting for staring at his hands, picturing a look of shock, horror or disappointment.   
"Conversion therapy? Peter.... what makes you think you need this? Do you think there's something wrong with you? Do you think I think something's wrong with you?" He was confused. Wasn't there?   
"I'm- It means I'm broken, doesn't it?"  
"No. It doesn't mean that at all. I'm proud of you for telling me, Pete. I promise you're not broken." Peter was crying as he hugged his aunt.  
He wasn't broken. It would take him time to accept that. But the world hadn't fallen apart. The world had barely changed. And Peter could not be more grateful for that.


End file.
